The Continuing Misadventures of a 40K Noob

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Noob Goes to a Megabattle, or, Noob-ocalypse: 40K

So, the Noob has his very first game of Apocalypse on Patriots Day (I guess that's what they're calling it now) on Saturday, 9/11.  The game pits several of the guys in my gaming group, Adeptus North Texas, against each other in pitched 40K battle goodness.  The battle is being billed as "The Fall of Man is Nigh".  My good friend Greg is fielding one full side of this monster all day affair:  6,000 points of Chaos Daemon evil.  Greg is obviously mental keeping up with 6,000 points of anything, much less Daemons.  Facing off with Greg will be 6,000 points of the Emperor's Finest, 1,500 points each of Imperial Fists, Salamanders, Ultramarines, and Black Templars.  These armies (fielded by people with much more sanity, obviously) will be fielded by my buddies Matt (Imperial Fists), Pat (Salamanders), Bob (Ultramarines),and myself (Black Templars).  Obviously, those of us fielding the Space Marine chapters have much more sanity than Greg outside the fact we've agreed to play in this potentially 8 hour monster and kill a Saturday (the last Saturday before my back surgery, mind you.  I'll spend the last Saturday I'll be able to stand for at least 3 weeks to stand around a table and move models.  Yes, I can't think of a better way to spend my last Saturday standing, either).  It should be a titanic struggle if the events of 2 weeks ago Tuesday are any indication (Greg took 3,000 points of Daemons to Victory over Pat's 1,500 of Salamanders and my 1,500 of Black Templars).  A good time was had by all which led Greg to dream up the monstrosity of a game ahead of us.

For those of you into the fluff of all things 40K, here's Greg's write up for the background of this titanic struggle.

"The Fall of Man is Nigh"
Primarch-Progenitor, to your glory and the glory of him on earth!
The Eye sees everything. There is nothing that Tzeentch the omnipotent
cannot influence or foresee, for he is the true lord of change and the
will of magic and fate passes not unto the realm of the Imperium
without first passing through him. Kairos the Fateweaver is the acting
will of Tzeentch, and his prophetic powers are peer to none save the
great master himself. Kairos has foreseen the coming conjunction of
worlds, the alignment of fates. He has foreseen and has indeed
manipulated the coming conflagration that would see the greatest
champions of mankind crippled and cast down, setting into effect a
chain of events that would destroy them utterly. Kairos has foreseen
this, for Tzeentch has allowed him to.

No Pity! No Remorse! No Fear!

Four relatively small forces of marines from four different chapters.
Yet what lies at stake is much greater than the sum of its parts. With
this stroke, a cosmic domino effect will fall into place until four of
the greatest defenders of mankind are reduced to a shadow of their
current stature. The Imperial Fists, the bastard children of Dorn who
helped defeat Horus at his greatest moment of triumph. The Black
Templars, pious and unyielding zealots of the false Emperor and also
decendants of Dorn. The Salamanders, who have been a constant thorn
since surviving Isstvan V. And lastly, the Ultramarines. The ultimate
prize will be to see Marneus Calgar’s head on a spike. Or better yet…
claimed as a champion of Tzeentch. As stalwart as he is, Kairos has
foreseen the possibility. This would surely mean the end of man and
Terra would fall like a dead branch under the weight of chaos.

Into the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war!

And so Kairos calls to the other ruinous powers. As inferior as they
are to the true master, they, like a hammer or a sickle, have their
uses. With a combined effort, the humans cannot stand a chance, and
their pathetic and lamed 'Emperor' cannot save them this time. The
beginning of the end for mankind is now. Everything hinges on the
coming confrontation… the next battle… it means everything....

Courage and Honour!

Full Battle Report to follow, obviously, and perhaps a teaser this Tuesday, 8/31/10, although I'm pretty sure Greg will break out one of his other armies.  I'm sure with all the building and painting he has going on now for this battle he's probably going to be ready to see anyone but Daemons for a week or 2 prior and a couple of weeks after.  Perhaps Imperial wargames featuring Greg's Space Wolves?  Who knows.  I know Greg has a couple of other armies in his bag of tricks besides Daemons and Space Wolves (I believe their some Tau and Sisters of Battle in Greg's bag, too.

I, of course, had to pass on the discount pre-order of 2 boxes of The Island of Blood with Greg as I just wouldn't have time to devote to it until after my recovery period, and any new box set sitting on the table wiould have me sitting longer than I am supposed to so soon after surgery.

"Brad, how did your intestines come to be spilling out your side following surgery??  Didn't we issue strict orders as to how long you could do any activity for 6 weeks after??"  

Me: "Umm, Island of Blood???"  

Dr:  "Yes, that is what the ambulance is , now, after you bled in it the whole way over.  The paramedics said you kept screaming 'My High Elves will fix my stomach!!  Back to my house!!' " 

Well, here's to me getting Tuesday night's battle report up, whatever it is, along with the Megabattle report for all you enemies of and defenders of man to chew on while I'm out.

Hmm, there will be another Tuesday between "The Fall of Man" and the actual event.  Wonder what we'll be doing....


  1. I do not know if that is a good format. 4 vs 1 since the 1 will have to be all of the table for his turns and to interact with during your turns.

  2. Hey, we've tried to tell him he's nuts for playing 6,000 points against our combined 6,000 based on the fact that I personally think he's going to go bonkers trying to keep up with that big an army (wounds and whatnot), but our voices have been heard and rejected. Now it's our jogs as defenders of the Emperor to take him down as quickly and cleanly as possible. I'm sure the casualties alone after wards will be most impressive....

  3. I think he is not the person who will have the problem it will be the 3 people on your team who are constantly doing nothing and be bored while they wait for him to finish shooting at someone else of resolving wounds from someone else or doing an assault with someone else.

  4. Eh, we're pretty good about keeping ourselves entertained while other stuff is going on. Now, there very well could be times one of us loses focus on the task at hand, but I don't see us getting all that bored.

    Thanks for the comments! I always like to hear a perspective from someone on the outside looking in.